I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
