he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
