I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
