you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
