Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize