I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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