these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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