if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
