Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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