The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
