so explain again why im purple
no
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
