I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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