super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
