I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
