so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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