I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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