Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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