Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
