There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
