I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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