OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
