he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
