Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
