Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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