Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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