Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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