I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it's great music for shaving your balls
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
