my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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