She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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