Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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