booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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