I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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