Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
