Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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