barbara walters just said penis...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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