She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
