perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
