she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
