so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize