Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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