He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize