we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
