You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
dude. I can hear the air.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
