so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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