sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The power of my boobs compel you
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
