ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
