Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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