with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
