I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
