Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
