It was like getting head from an anaconda
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
