how can u be prego again
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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