Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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