I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
