He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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