Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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