Don't you send me to vm
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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