And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
