I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
