roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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