the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
